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BITTERNESS I. Why is it difficult to resolve bitter experiences? One never forgets bitter experiences. Our memory of how others have hurt us remains in our mind. Proverbs 14:10 “The heart knows its own bitterness.” II. What types of sins produce bitterness in the heart? 1. Sexual deviance will cause one to become bitter due to the consequences of the sin involved. (See consequences of sexual deviance)
Proverbs 5:3-6; 7:26 III. What are the consequences if bitterness is not dealt with? 1. It will affect one’s emotions. Hebrews 12:15 IV. Two examples of individuals who faced bitter situations. 1. Correct Response: Joseph 2. Wrong Response: Naomi (Changed name to Mara: means bitter) V. How can I rebuild a bitter attitude? Ephesians 4:31-32 2. “Put On” VI. How can a person forgive another for their wrongs? 1. Do not allow your thoughts to focus on the failures of others.
A person’s thinking may lead to bitterness.
I Corinthians 13:5 “Love thinketh no evil.” Love keeps no record of wrongs.
God refuses to dwell on our sins.
Psalms 103:12; Isaiah 43:25; Hebrews 10:17 VII. How am I to respond to others when I am hurt and am tempted to become bitter against them? Matthew 5:44 1. Love them. (Explanation to the counselor) I. Why is it difficult to resolve bitter experiences? We will all suffer many wrongs done to us in a lifetime. Our response to those hurts will determine whether we will become a sweet or bitter person. Bitterness is difficult to resolve because we are unwilling to allow those who have wronged us to go unpunished. We think our bitter feelings toward them are justified and necessary to resolve the problem. Our bitterness towards them never resolves any problem, but rather magnifies the difficulty in our relationship to them. II. What types of sins produce bitterness in the heart? The Bible describes certain sins that will cause one to become bitter. Sexual deviant patterns will cause one to become bitter at God and others when one begins to face the consequences of the sinful behavior one is practicing. Bitterness will also occur when one’s focus is only on money and influence. If that goal is not realized one will become bitter at God and others. A person will also become bitter if he has disobeyed God’s Word and is facing the chastening or consequences. III. What are the consequences if bitterness is not dealt with? A counselor may share how unsolved bitterness will affect a person. It will affect one' s emotions, other' s responses to hurtful situations and will lead to other sins that are more destructive. Sample questions: -Are you aware of the emotional damage that bitterness causes us? -Are you aware of the effect your unresolved bitterness has on others? -Are you aware that bitterness is like a small root that is easily pulled when small and undeveloped but if allowed to grow will develop in other sins of wrath, anger, clamor, evil speaking and malice. (Define each Greek term showing the progression from bitterness to malice.) IV. Two examples of individuals who faced bitter situations. Two stories in the Bible describe how two individuals faced bitter experiences. Joseph faced three of the most difficult experiences one could face in life. 1) Sold into slavery away from his family, 2) Potiphar lied about his character, and 3) he was forgotten in prison by the butler. In spite of these difficult experiences, Joseph learned three lessons that helped him not to become bitter toward others. They are found in Genesis 50. He shares them with his brother’s after his fathers death when they expected Joseph to get even with them for selling him into slavery. Joseph left the judgment to God (Genesis 50:19), Joseph saw God’s sovereign hand in all adversity (Genesis 50:20), Joseph showed genuine concern for those who hurt him (Genesis 50:21). Naomi, on the other hand, faced similar difficulties and changed her name to Mara, which means bitter. She responded incorrectly to bitter experiences and became bitter. Sample question: -Which of these two would you like to be, later in life? V. How can I rebuild a bitter attitude? One must be aware that before replacing sinful responses with godly responses one must have a genuine repentant heart for the bitterness within one s heart. There are three elements found in Ephesians 4:32 that must be developed into one’s life. 1) Kindness 2) Tenderhearted 3) Forgiving one another. These three principles must be developed in the order they are presented in Scripture. A person will not be able to forgive unless he has a tender heart. He will not have a tender heart toward another who has hurt him until he has demonstrated kindness toward them. Have the counselee define each of the above terms, then show him specific ways in which he can begin implementing them in his personal situations. Show him how he can show kindness, followed by prayer for a tender heart, and finally, focus on forgiveness. No one can do these three things and continue to be bitter at the same time. VI. How can a person forgive another for their wrongs? Forgiveness is difficult because we do not understand what is involved. If one is to understand forgiveness, he must first understand God’s forgiveness of his sins and then apply those principles to the way he forgives others. These practical principles will help understand the concept of forgiveness. VII. How am I to respond to others when I am hurt and am tempted to become bitter against them? Matthew 5:44 Jesus shares four steps to use in responding to those who have hurt us. If one is tempted to become bitter, one should apply these principles to their particular problem. If these four are followed one will not be able to harbor a bitter spirit. 1) Love them 2) Bless them 3) Do good to them 4) Pray for them. Copyright John Regier 1991 Notice: These materials are not intended to take
the place of professional, mental health services, but rather to provide
Biblical insight and helpful resources regarding various spiritual and emotional
problems. While we are glad to offer these resources for your personal
use, we encourage you to contact our pastor, Nolan
Jackson, Sr., for in-depth, free, Christian Counseling. If you are
interested in setting up an appointment, please call 770-786-8676 or e-mail
(be sure to include contact information).
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Belmont Baptist Church - Pastor Nolan Jackson, Sr. - 3275 Iris Dr. - Conyers, GA 30013 - 770-786-8676 |
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